Contrary to the superstition, this Friday 13th was very definitely a good day - Gulp Divers were going on their annual pilgrimage to the Farnes. A late change of divers saw Amanda join the party of Carol and John, Lucie, Roger and his son Tom, Ian and Ann, June and Graham, and me (Mick) with my son Jamie. Due to his recent illness Graham was a non-diver on this trip.

I'd driven to Melton Mowbray to collect Jamie. We were then to contact Amanda and Lucie and to meet on the A1 before driving together to Seahouses. I gave Jamie my mobile 'phone and put him in charge of contacting Amanda and organising where to meet. A long text messaging conversation between the two then ensued, and on the third attempt Lucie and Amanda found the correct lay-by in which we were waiting. We then proceeded on together up the A1 and arrived in good time at Seahouses. It was then my turn to go wrong, merrily sailing past the hotel. Mistake quickly recognised, we were soon in the hotel to be greeted by the rest of the party who were already comfortably settled in the hotel bar.

Our skipper Graham arrived later in the evening as arranged, to make the arrangements for the weekend. We had a number of Ocean Divers in the party so diving would be easy walls with 20m absolute maximum. Once arrangements were concluded it was getting late so a tired party of divers retired to their beds to dream about tomorrow's diving and, in my case, meeting playful seals.....

We had to be up too early for a cooked breakfast so had to settle for cerials. Then off to Beadnell car park where skipper Graham was ready for us, with his impressive 8m RIB. After getting our kit sorted and stowed, non-diver Graham left us and returned to the hotel for his eagerly awaited black pudding (and the rest of his hot breakfast), whilst we waded out to clamber onto the launched boat.

In minutes the twin Mariner 125s had screamed us through the slightly choppy water past Seahouses and to our first dive.
This dive was really shallow - skipper Graham was playing really safe - but nonetheless very enjoyable. The divers returned to the boat fired up and ready for the next dive. Again the Mariners had us to the site in no time and having had such a shallow first dive we were able to get into the water as soon as we were ready.

First it was necessary for some equipment repairs. We quickly found a replacement of June's fin strap, utilising a strap from Ian's spare pair. Ann's torch was pronounced lost after the first dive but a replacement wouldn't be needed today. John's regs were a little more serious. We'd spotted oil all over the floor of the RIB and we soon traced it to John's Poseidon regulator which had displaced its rubber cap. We discussed the situation and agreed that the sea was plenty warm enough for the regulator to be used without the insulating oil, that is optional anyway. The cap was strapped in place with a new tie and after a test we were ready for action.

The second dive was at the "Blue Caps". We arrived to see other boats and divers everywhere. The tide was running a little so we were briefed where to stay to ensure that we were not dragged off. We also decided to use SMBs throughout the dive. Jamie and Tom were suffering from the swell so stayed on the boat with Roger who was also stricken, not with seasickness but sore ribs from a knock earlier in the day.

Amanda expressed her desire to relieve her uncomfortably full bladder and Graham confidently offered the boat's 'facility'. "Aye, we've got a bucket" he explained. So now both Amanda and Lucie were to delay their dives to use the 'facility'. Lucie was ready first, and as expected went into the covered bow area. Her surprise was to be handed the bucket! Neither had taken Graham literally! So after balancing on the empty cylinders over the bucket the pair of them joined the rest of us getting ready for the water.

Once in the water, Ian and I dropped down and immediately saw a large seal motionless on the bottom. The animal was clearly dead. I looked quizzically at the mess of tissue that was where the head should have been before remembering from my British Divers Marine Life Rescue training how the fatty tissue around the neck rots first and the head drops off, often giving the unknowing the false impression that the carcass is of a seal that had been decapitated. The body looked normal, except for the starfish, sea urchins and crabs on it. However the head area was an awful mess.

We moved on and shortly after found a huge lobster under a rock. I say under, but the rock was a perfect lobster home, with narrow holes just big enough for it to do what it needed to, but small enough to defeat all but the smallest of hands. I love to see lobster, but have no yearn to catch and eat the creatures, so I just watched it retreat. Ian was slightly behind me so saw the lobster too late to make a lunge for it. I watched him, clearly undeterred, as he looked hard at the possibilities before eventually resigning himself to the facts that (a) the access holes to the lobster's lair were small for his hands, (b) we didn't have a goody bag, and (c) the lobster's claws were undeniably big!

Back on the boat our skipper was very interested in our lobster tale. He was less impressed when I revealed that I watched it retreat into it's shelter without even an attempt at getting it. Ian hadn't realised this during the dive and I don't think that he was too impressed either! All divers were soon packed up and we were off back to shore. The Mariners were buzzing beautifully and a fast ride saw us back in no time.

The RIB was soon landed and the happy band of divers were changed and queuing at the snack van. Some were happier than others however, with one or two of the ladies taking a little time to get over having to pay 20p for the loos! I did what my wife insists is my favourite bit of the diving experience, and strode purposefully around the party recording details for the dive log sheet. I was therefore the last to be changed and ready to eat.

After my usual sea-diving light breakfast, I had a healthy appetite so ordered the quarter-pounder cheeseburger with everything. I was not disappointed. It was as far removed from a McDonalds McCrappyLimpy as you could get. A meal in a bun. Fantastic. And didn't the rest of the party notice! Several comments were made, and Amanda confounded expectations by managing to get her mouth around it and take a good-sized bite. Soon enough we were at the air station for our fills. Some took the opportunity to look at the kit on offer and even invest in a few bits and pieces.

Saturday night saw us together in the hotel for our meal, with the younger members (Lucie, Amanda, Jamie and Tom) later in the evening going off to a local pub. Later still, after a call from Lucie, I joined them but being an old fart was soon ready for my bed. Much later still (well past midnight) Roger and I recovered the boys from the pub!

Sunday saw us arrive at Beadnell car park an hour later than yesterday. This was so that those with a liking for meat and bloodin the morning could have the 'Full English' which so any of the party had sorely missed on the previous day.

The northerly wind was causing waves to crash over Seahouses' harbour wall, however if anything the weather was better today with the choppy sea of yesterday replaced by a gentle swell. We met Graham at Beadnell and soon we'd got the kit onboard the RIB. Concern was expressed to Graham that the bungees which hold the cylinders in place were looking somewhat more worn than they were yesterday, but Graham was not perturbed expressing that they do wear. Thankfully Graham had given the boat a thorough clean and it smelt much better now the oil from John's regulator had been washed from the floor. The gentle swell made fast progress possible and was soon at the Blue Caps again.

There were fewer of us today because Roger, Tom and June had elected not to dive. Jamie again felt unwell so I went into the water with Ian and Ann. At about 10m my ears wouldn't equalise. After what seemed like ages I finally got them sorted and having carefully stayed above Ian and Ann's bubbles I descended to join them at the bottom where they were waiting for me.
There had been much talk on the boat between Graham and Ian about the lobster, however we did not find his lair. We saw another smaller lobster that had it not been for the previous day's sighting would have been impressive enough. We did see the dead seal again, and further on met with Lucie and Amanda. Lucie is the National Co-ordinator of the British Divers Marine Life Rescue and had expressed an interest in the dead seal. I had a conundrum: how do I signal 'dead seal'? The distinguishing feature was the rotting neck so I improvised by pointing my finger along my neck. The response from Lucie was immediate - big, apprehensive, worried eyes. I quickly remembered the PADI side of my training and realised that my signal had been mistaken by Lucie who is a PADI diver as "I'm out of air". I waved my hands to cancel the signal and pointed in the direction of the seal. 'OK' signals were exchanged and two relieved divers went on their way. Lucie later explained her confusion that I would (a) signal to her and not my buddy, (b) that I had a fully charged pony cylinder, and (c) from the exhaust bubbles I was clearly breathing, hence the lack of an immediate response!

We got to the end of the dive and I settled back to wait for Ian and Ann to deploy the delayed SMB. Then all hell broke loose with Ann responding quickly to hold Ian down. I replaced my demand valve that had been accidentally knocked out when Ann reacted, and went round to the other side of Ian where I could immediately see that the SMB line had somehow got stuck around the reel handle. Ian couldn't let go however because his camera lanyard was also hooked up with the handle and the tension of the SMB and line made it difficult for me and Ian to untangle the mess. Thankfully we were able to get the SMB released and we watched the SMB and reel rocket to the surface as we descended the few metres back down to the bottom. We paused, composed ourselves, and got Ann's delayed SMB out. I took Ian's camera off him and this time the launching of the SMB by Ian and Ann was uneventful.

At the surface we retrieved the first SMB and related our adventure to the rest of the party. There were two lessons learned: check the line for tautness and keep it that way; and don't have lanyards on your wrists or anywhere that they can get snagged. Lucie and Amanda further emphasised the importance of the buddy pair paying attention during the deployment of delayed SMBs. They described how Lucie had given the 'OK-ready to deploy' signal but still had the reel attached to her BCD. Amanda spotted this and averted another possible incident.

Between dives Graham took us to snorkel with the seals. John and I stayed on the boat to get our kit ready for the next dive (and I wanted a pee as well). Amanda was soon on her way back to the boat, being followed by a friendly adult. I was thinking how fortunate she was to be so close, whereas unbeknown to us she was wishing for the seal, which had proven to be a bit too curious and friendly, to go away. I was half way through assembling my fresh cylinder and pony onto the BCD so was not keen to drop the lot into the bottom of the boat to help her out, especially as I was thinking that she was having the good fortune to have a playmate. John was able to go to her assistance reasonably quickly and once in the boat we were made well aware of her consternation at the seal's attentiveness.

With my kit now ready for the next dive I followed John into the water. My eagerness to at last meet a seal on this trip turned to resigned disappointment when I realised that all the seals had gone! Oh well, there's always the next dive.
Our final dive was at the Great Harrier. Jamie had by now recovered and after assisting the other divers we readied ourselves and entered the water.

This was one of those dives which for no particular reason I was not totally comfortable. Everything was working fine, and except for occasional buoyancy problems Jamie seemed happy and comfortable. We pottered about for 30 minutes before I decided to end the dive. All was well but I just didn't feel that I'd be properly alert and in control should an incident occur, especially with Jamie clearly getting lighter. Not even the thought of meeting my first living seal on this trip was enough to entice me to continue. I stopped Jamie and signalled 'up'. Jamie affirmed immediately, a little to my surprise since we both had loads of air and could have remained down for much longer. We deployed the SMB and reached the surface without incident. On the surface I apologised for prematurely ending the dive and Jamie responded by explaining that he was about to signal that he was cold and so was ready to ascend.

Once all divers were in the RIB and the kit safely stowed we were off again back to Beadnell. We made fast progress, cruising at 25 mph, even with me, Jamie and Ian having a go at the controls. Others also wanted a go but despite no-one hogging the wheel our fast progress meant that all too soon and with Graham's customary exuberant entrance into the bay we were back at Beadnell.
It seemed like forever before the tractor appeared with Graham's trailer so those with uncomfortable bladders took it in turns to spend 20p.

Once the boat was safely recovered we were soon changed and today several of us had the same huge burger that I'd enjoyed yesterday. We sat at the burger van and did the usual recounting of the trip and what we should do for the next. We also confirmed that I was the only one to have not met up with a live seal!

All too soon it was time for goodbyes and off to the A1 for the boring drive home.

Written by Mick Barratt, 2002